.03.

"Man, they must've been thick," Adam told me later, "both of us... from London... I mean, come on. What was I thinking?" (Remember what I told you about Adam?) He was unaware that I had alleviated that indiscretion later that evening, claiming to being born in Ireland before moving to London as a boy.

"You're British," he turns and says to me.
"What?"
"We're both from England."
"Why?"

He responded only with a shrug and a look of confusion and amazement that was fraught with much more meaning than perhaps necessary. Or at least, so it seemed at the time.

The evening progressed with thick accents, surprising football events, and me chatting it up with Debra, the taller, skinnier, and older, we would come to find out, companion of Christine.

And of course our mere presence was not enough to shake the retards from the immediate vicinity, and so we continued to enjoy the floor show of embarrassingly deliberate sexual hopes and desires.

I laughed until I quite literally almost wet myself. I excused myself.

When I returned, Adam was pulling his hat out of his coat pocket, zipping himself up, and preparing for the night air. The ladies were already making their way towards the door, along side the Hooligans. Adam looked over in my direction and his face went all panicky once again. He stepped up next to me and yelled.

"Oh my God, dude! They want us to go to a different bar with them!"
"Serious?"
"Totally." He jumped back into the dialect even though no applicable parties were anywhere near.
"Well?"
"Dunnos."

The look on his face showed that he was still processing this entirely unbelievable turn of events. I knew I could say "No," and we would leave, and both he and I would feel immense relief to no longer have to keep up this dirty little lie.

But what fun would that be?

I jumped back into the dialect myself.

"Well, we'd better hurry before they run off and leave us here twiddlin' our thumbs."
"Alright!"

His face lit up. Despite the insane amount of work it took to constantly select what you will say and how you will say it, especially in the midst of a loud, alcohol infused setting, the opportunity to be someone else for an entire evening was far too brilliant for such a young, method actor to just walk away from.

We ran out into the cold night to find the group hailing taxis.